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Thursday, March 07, 2019

Update 03072010

Update:

Lots has happened since my last update. For me it's been a bit more about pain management. Aching all over constantly. I find I can take a lot of pain day to day and over time it really is just the new norm. Adrianne graduated college and working at a pre-school with a local church. She's making enough to support herself ad gaining some work experience. I am happy with that.
Zoe is doing so well. Excited about college. We had a nice visit and she was able to get some good information about the University of Texas. She's going to go far. I think she stresses over things sometimes more then she should but she's handling it fine so good for her.
Lisa has been learning to take on less and it's nice to have her home more. I think it's a good balance for her and for me.
Work is going well. Changes there as well are stressful but overall it's a good fit for me when it comes to work/life management. I feel my family is piecing together nicely. Trying to save up for Zoe's college, pay off a few bills just taking time. All while the same time, misc things falling apart, car, house etc. It is funny how even with more money, things don't change that much. But all and all, pay bills, save for Zoe's college and make sure everyone is happy overall. I have enough 'things' for me to keep me occupied.

Now for something different. For my own personal growth, I read, I take walks and I am constantly studying anything I can get my hands on. Computers, tech, some politics, current news events etc. Every once in awhile though my thoughts seem to drift on pondering a bigger picture. Looking back at my life as well as current goings on, I can't help but think about how surreal things seem to be. It looks like in my mind a made up pan of events. Growing up, friends, life, married, hurricane, moving to Texas, new job, Adriannes birth and trauma of the event and so much more till now. It's like some well written script or book and all to well put together at that. Elon Musk once put it that we could all very well be running inside a simulation. I felt like this before he's said this. If I look at events in history, it seems too odd that certain things happened right from my birth forward. Climate change, population growth, distinct changes in politics leading up till today, etc. It just seem so all 'put together'. I know ramblings of a crazy person right?
They say in so many ways the mind has ways of playing tricks on you. THat could very well be the case for me but who knows. Like seeing the image of Jesus in your toast or those distinct shapes in clouds. Chalk it up to that or it can go way off the bend if you think it too much. But sometimes it's just that consistent overall odd deja-vu feeling of just standing outside yourself and watching the play pan out. Sometimes it's all to predictable. Not just me but events in history going forward. All to predictable as I get older.
The other thing is constantly seeing males in my lifetime passing in early to mid 70s. I would like to live to be 100 and watch it all play out but I get the distinct message that mid 70s is what is coming for me in my passing. So I'll take it for what it is.
For anyone that does stumble across this post, just take it all as the ramblings of one old fart. I have no plans to do anything daft. It's just putting things down for me to digest. Nothing more. Well there is more, but probably best I keep it to myself. Closed in inescapable galaxy, space travel, alternate dimensions, time travel, fixed space, etc. But I think that the story will pretty much all end in my passing whenever that may be.

Yeah, ramblings of a madman for sure.
posted by Jules at 9:11 PM

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